hi

Listening to: do you care?
Reading: do you care?
Watching: and once again, do you care?

my g/f broke up with me. yep. over a voicemail. ive was not been able to talk about her or think about her without crying which is why this entry is kinda late. she kept on saying she didnt want to hurt me, that she knew she had and didnt want to anymore. that she needs to get her life in gear. also shes got some online chick comming over from some diffrent state that she said was platonic. as she said this she put herself in my shoes and told me she would feel jealous and she wouldnt want that of me. she had not proven to me that i should distrust her as every previous person ive been with has. so, i trusted her, and told her so. but she kept on telling me she would not have trust if she were i. i have not talked to her since her voicemail and dont think i can. i dont know what i would do if i saw her right now. she was my first love. i tell my older brother just about everything and he knows whats up, his advice to me is to not take her back again. to much heartache and i could do better. family is so important, they stick by you though thick and thin.

on a wierd note, with all the shit and pain ive been in/was in ive knowticed that ive been teatering more over the fence than i ever have. i thought i had this figured out....i guess ive proved myself wrong.

note 2, ive not lost weight but ive dropped a few or more sizes which is wierd to me, i lost my curvy ass in 2 weeks. went from a size 9-10 to a 5. dont ask me wtf happened cause i dont know.

thank you for reading.